


Come Apart at the Seams

by theacesofspades



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Fluff, Gansey is autistic and very bi, Happy Boys Snuggling, Implied Noah Czerny/Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, M/M, Minor Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 23:22:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12178497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theacesofspades/pseuds/theacesofspades
Summary: Noah Czerny was in love with all of his friends.Or, Noah and Gansey are too gay to be quiet and Ronan just wants to get some damn sleep, you guys.





	Come Apart at the Seams

**Author's Note:**

> _for the love on your lips_

Noah was a little bit in love with all of his friends.

He wished, desperately, that he could do more for them, but as time drew on he found himself more and more often incorporeal and ineffective.

He wished he could take Adam’s angry knuckles and kiss them loose, erase past bruises, past cruelties; take Ronan’s bad dreams and bad thoughts and toss them out the window along with the man who helped plant them in his mind; take Blue and show her her own special brand of magic, untied to cards and visions and so much more _her_.

But he could only help so much so often, and not everyone knew how to accept help easily, so tonight he found himself back at Monmouth.

From his bedroom doorway, Noah could just barely make out Gansey. He had folded in on himself on his bed, curled up in a small, tense ball of anxieties and private loneliness.

Noah made his way carefully across the room in the dark, corporeal and himself enough that knocking into something unwittingly would cause a racket he didn’t want.

He didn’t know if Gansey had called Blue tonight or not - usually she was enough to quiet Gansey’s mind - but he did know he wasn’t asleep.

He slipped quietly into the sheets behind him, hovering his hand over the top of his spine, barely enough to feel, but enough that Gansey would know he was there.

His breath hitched. "Noah."

Noah knew that Gansey had a thing about touch. Sometimes he needed a lot of it because it helped ground him. He had trouble staying present sometimes, not unlike Noah. Sometimes he could only stand certain touches, very specific textures. Little things, like his infamous boat shoes, the source of much contention, were comfort objects on those days. Other times, though, Gansey couldn't bear any physical contact, and on very bad days even his clothing, his glasses, his hair were all points of frustration and discomfort.

Noah pressed a light kiss to the top of Gansey's shoulder, barely there, just a butterfly's wing on skin. "Pressure or no pressure?"

Gansey was still, then nodded.

"Gansey?"

He nodded again, faster. "Mhmm, yes. Yes, please, Noah, I -. Yes. Please."

Noah pressed his face into Gansey's back, wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly. He wove their legs together; Gansey's were shaking. Gansey pushed back into Noah, pulling him tighter around him. He was tense, held too taut. Noah pushed kisses across his back, into his shoulders, up his neck, onto the back of his head. Contact, pressure, everywhere he could reach.

Gansey gasped again, and his chest shook. From behind him, Noah couldn't tell if he was crying or not, but he could feel his breathing come easier. The more he kissed, held, squeezed, the more tension eased out of Gansey. Noah was glad to see it go, would gladly give all of Gansey's stresses and fears a restraining order and a middle finger if he could. He couldn't. But he could hold Gansey, and he could kiss him, and that was pretty damn good, too.

"Better?"

"Yes. Please - please don't stop."

Noah pressed his forehead to Gansey's shoulder. Gansey smelt of the mint leaves he chewed on incessantly, and a little of old books and musty rooms. Scholarly things. It was overpowering and heady. Noah breathed in deeply, and shook his head so Gansey could feel it. "I won't."

Gansey unraveled slowly, easing out into Noah’s embrace, filling him up. Noah focused his kisses on Gansey’s shoulders, trying to break down the tension he’d built up.

As he kissed Gansey’s back, Noah slowly released his tight grip around Gansey’s chest. He raked his fingers up his sides, first digging in, then just lightly grazing. Gansey’s stomach twitched, and he tried to stifle a giggle.

Noah grinned broadly. “Ticklish?”

He didn’t give him time to respond before he attacked in earnest, driving Gansey to terrible giggles. Noah laughed into his neck, not letting up.

Gansey twisted around in his grasp, ready to return fire, but he stopped short. Noah paused, unsure what had happened. Gansey was staring at him, but Noah couldn’t make out his expression.

“Gansey?”

Gansey tugged lightly at the bottom of his Aglionby sweater. He was frowning, puzzling out a problem. "Have you ever tried taking your clothes off?"

Noah snickered and Gansey immediately flushed. "I didn't - I didn't mean it to be. . . ."

"Dirty? Indecent?" Noah waggled his eyebrows. “ _Risqué_?”

"Yes. I just meant. Well, you're a ghost, and you are, ostensibly, stuck in these clothes, but I just wondered. . . . I'm sorry, I shouldn't have."

Noah kissed Gansey's worry lines. He and Adam were going to be so wrinkled when they were old men. The thought that Gansey would not be an old man flashed quickly through his mind, but Noah smiled and ignored it. "No, I haven't ever tried. Would you like to?"

Gansey's blush deepened. "I - That is - I hadn't considered.” He cleared his throat. “It was just a passing curiosity." Gansey wouldn’t meet his eyes; it was desperately endearing.

Ronan's door creaked open. Gansey and Noah stilled instantly, simultaneously reaching to cover each other’s mouths and feign sleep.

Noah realized the clouds must have shifted, or else he had been with Gansey longer than he’d realized; light came in the windows now, and they could see Ronan clearly even in the dark. He stomped into the bathroom-kitchen combo and shut the door loudly behind him. Gansey and Noah exchanged looks, then startled back to attention when Ronan returned a moment later.

Noah didn’t know what to expect, but Ronan only went back to his room and shut the door behind him.

He caught Gansey’s eye and they dissolved into silent, heaving laughter, pressing their fingers against each other’s mouths, shushing each other.

They quieted down eventually, and Noah silently took up his ministrations once again, stroking up and down Gansey’s arms, across his collarbones, down his chest, adding pressure wherever his hands went. Probably his hands were too cold to be relaxing, but Gansey melted into him.

They lay in the dark, silent. Noah could feel Gansey’s thoughts getting loud again. He squeezed Gansey's knee, one of Gansey’s private, hidden memories, trying to keep his focus outward, and on positive things. "Blue."

Gansey stared at him, eyes wide. He stuttered, trying to explain away a crime he didn't know wasn't criminal.

"Shoosh," Noah hummed. "I'm glad for you."

Gansey's eyes jerked up, towards the bedroom doors at the end of Monmouth.

Noah turned his head. Both doors were shut, and even if Ronan were still awake there was no way he had heard them.

He turned to Gansey and shook his head. "I won't tell. I don't."

Gansey looked at him. Saw him. "You know a lot, Noah. Don't you?"

Noah grinned. "You're all a lot more obvious than you think. You're just too wrapped up in your own fears to notice."

"Wait, all of us? Who else - Are we all hiding the same things?"

Noah thought about the stares Adam collected, the longing in Ronan's eyes. The furtive, hidden touches between Gansey and Blue. "Yes." He thought about Gansey dying, only half of them knowing. "No." He stared at Gansey. "Sometimes."

"Really?"

"See? No one notices."

Noah patted Gansey’s face reassuringly, then squished his cheeks. Gansey made a fish face at him and they giggled, hastily shushing each other before they woke up Ronan.

Noah tucked his face into Gansey’s shoulder. He offered Gansey a secret worry in return for revealing he knew about Blue. “Do you wish I were Blue? Right now?”

Gansey’s shock seemed genuine. “No, Noah, of course not.”

He lifted his head, watched him. "You can pretend I'm her, if you want."

Gansey's eyes flicked back and forth between Noah's, unsure where to land. He licked his lips. "I don't want to."

Noah let out a deep breath. Gansey cupped his face, but he didn't move any further.

He wanted to kiss Gansey. He didn’t want to kiss Gansey without telling him he had kissed Blue. Blue and Gansey hadn’t been dating, but it still felt wrong to want to kiss Gansey when he had kissed his girlfriend. He wondered if it was normal to want so badly to kiss two people. More than two people, even.

“I kissed Blue.”

Gansey’s eyes widened, but he didn’t seem upset. Instead he grinned ruefully. “She told me. You’re probably the only guy she _could_ kiss, huh?”

“Safely.” Noah agreed.

Gansey nodded, his grin faltering a touch. He hadn’t let go of Noah. “She said you were a good kisser.”

Noah felt his chest tighten. It was a curious sensation.

“Would it be bad? To kiss you? Or. Or would I not count?”

Gansey furrowed his eyebrows. “Noah. You count.”

“Then it would be bad, right? If you’re dating Blue.”

He looked down, remembering. “I’ve told her I’d like to kiss you. If you ever wanted to.”

Noah bit his lip. It was stupid to be nervous. It was Gansey. “I do. You did?”

He nodded. “She said she did, too.”

Noah grinned, surprised and flattered. Gansey smiled in turn and gently rubbed his thumb over Noah’s lips, like he did when he stimmed on his own mouth. “We love you, too, you know.”

Noah's breath caught in his throat. “I know.”

Gansey leaned forward and kissed him, so, so softly, then leaned back and looked at him.

“Gansey,” Noah started, breathless already. Gansey smiled at him, but he hadn’t known what he was going to say. He didn’t plan past his name. “Gansey.” He sighed. Gansey pulled him back into a kiss, sliding his hands down to wrap around him, clutching Noah’s old sweater between his fingers.

Noah was suddenly horribly aware that Gansey was not wearing a shirt, and desperately pleased that Gansey was not wearing a shirt.

Gansey pushed him back into the mattress and Noah laughed happily into his mouth. He tried to pull up Noah’s sweater, but they answered that question pretty quickly. No matter what angle they tried, the sweater would always get mysteriously stuck and refuse to come off. Possibly it wasn’t even ghost-related, and the stupid sweater was just too small, but they gave up anyway.

Gansey could, they found, push his hands up his shirt, though. Gansey ran his hands up, down, all over his chest, across his hips, lightly up his spine, all while kissing kissing kissing. Noah was deliriously happy.

Gansey made soft muffled noises into Noah’s mouth. Noah eagerly set about discovering how soft Gansey’s hair was. Gansey continued exploring his body.

They lay and kissed and explored, time unknown. Noah tried to think if Gansey had school the next day, if he should go, and let him get some sleep, but Gansey kept distracting him.

Gansey leaned up and smiled down at him, looking fully at ease. It was a stark contrast to the beginning of the night; Noah smiled back at him.

He propped himself up on his elbow, and ran his fingers through Noah’s hair. The light coming in the window behind them cast Gansey’s face in shadow. Noah traced his cheek in the half-dark with his finger, his smile growing.

Gansey pushed his head into the corner between Noah’s shoulder and neck and kissed lazily at his throat. “Noah.”

“Hmm?” Noah hummed contentedly, his eyes drifting shut, warm and happily weighted down by Gansey.

Gansey mumbled something into the skin above his collar; Noah couldn’t make it out, but the words tickled. A helpless giggle escaped him and he slapped at Gansey’s elbow.

Gansey shot up, surprised and thrilled. “Oh? Ticklish?” The look he gave Noah was pure evil, just pretending to be loving mischievousness and Noah had all of a second before Gansey dug his fingers into Noah’s ribs with a vengeance, leaving him shrieking and laughing desperately within seconds.

Noah pushed at Gansey’s hands, begging him to stop and have mercy, but he showed no signs of letting up. Noah was only spared when the door to Ronan’s room slammed open and the great angry thunder cloud that had been sleeping inside filled the doorway.

They shot up, shame-faced, caught in their fun, legs tangled in one another’s. Noah was acutely aware of how they must have looked - how flushed they both were, how heavily they were breathing, and how red Gansey’s lips were and how his must look.

Ronan glared at them with half-lidded eyes. "You guys are being," a huge yawn interrupted him, "obnoxiously loud.”

Gansey was pulled into a yawn as well, but Noah, immune, only scoffed. “There’s no way we were loud enough to wake you up.”

Ronan tilted his head, considering. “No,” he finally granted. “I had a dream. But then I could hear you, and you were obnoxiously loud.”

He scratched at his stomach, his shirt pushed up. Noah felt a little bad. He knew Ronan didn't get much sleep, and that getting back to sleep after dreams could be especially difficult. Still. He was awake now.

He pressed his lips to Gansey's ear, delighted to feel him squirm. "Invite him over!" he whispered.

He saw Gansey bite his lip, weighing pros and cons, then grin brightly. He lifted a single hand towards Ronan, palm raised imperiously, silent question posed.

Ronan rubbed at his eyes, then pushed his hand back across his head. He nodded, and shuffled over to the small bed. There really wasn't enough room for all three of them, but they made it work. Noah being the smallest, in stature and in physical presence, folded up in between them, happy as could be.

Ronan tossed an arm over Noah from behind him, pulling Noah down and pushing his face into the crook of his neck, setting immediately to the job of getting back to sleep. Gansey looked down at them like a cat that had gotten in the cream. Two of his boys in the same place. Noah grinned up at him and poked his nose.

The light from the moon shone through the giant warehouse windows, draping everything in a soft glow. It haloed Gansey, making his hair shine. He looked soft, half-unformed around the edges. It was achingly familiar, like looking in a mirror, but also horribly beautiful. He looked untouchable in the light, a league above them. But Noah lifted a hand and lay it on his cheek, his thumb resting just at the corner of his lips, and slapped that thought away. Gansey was here. Gansey was human. Gansey was theirs.

Gansey stared at him, expression unreadable but gaze unshaking.

Without opening his eyes, Ronan lightly slapped at Noah's face. "Shut up." His voice was hoarse and grumbly from sleep. It was hot.

Gansey and Noah snorted. "We haven't said anything." Gansey stretched himself down next to Noah and took Ronan's hand from where it lay over Noah. Their hands locked over his hip. He felt secure, held in place, stable in time.

"You were being fucking gay and it was really loud. Some people are trying to get their fucking beauty sleep on."

"We're not that bad." Gansey laughed. He rubbed Ronan's hand, then let go and pressed his palm flat against Noah's waist. That was definitely very hot. Noah grinned into Gansey's shoulder, and Gansey leaned over to press a kiss to his chin.

Ronan groaned.

“You two are absolutely disgusting. I’m right here.” He pushed lazily at Gansey’s shoulder, then dropped his arm down on Noah’s stomach, burrowing back in. “Y’all’re worse than me.”

Noah flipped himself over, catching Ronan’s sleepy smile just before he hid it, and threw his arms around him. “But you love us!”

Ronan grunted and patted his hand begrudgingly, and Noah slipped their fingers together.

Gansey joined them, wrapping himself around Noah and clenching his hand into the back of Ronan’s shirt.

For all his grumbling, Ronan managed to fall back asleep almost immediately, snoring lightly. Gansey drifted off to sleep not long after, thoughts quieted and worries temporarily sated. Noah nestled down in between them, warm in their arms, and very, very happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from So Natural by Toby Lightman, which I _highly_ recommend, and which helped inspire this ;)


End file.
